Reuben Salsa’s writing has been described as the bastard son of Oscar Wilde if Oscar Wilde was suddenly thrown into a pool of radioactive waste after impregnating Britney Spears. The “best kept secret on Medium” says absolutely nobody. Here’s the brilliant and often divisive best of Reuben Salsa.
I’ve tried everything. I’ve freed my nipple in the most sexually contrived manner I could possibly do. I tarted my nipple up with glitter and rubbed various lube around the surrounding man boob, but still had no response. …
In 1912, a man of petty nature double-crossed a known thief and would-be scoundrel out of a seriously large sum of money and two bags of horse feed. The man, named Colin, went on to record his grievous act of treachery and forwarded the evidence to the local sheriff. The…
We’ve all been there. Lost at sea and clueless as to how to get home. The survival food has run out. Your shipmate is an arsehole and worse still, there’s a gigantic presence looming ahead that’s shaped like a sperm whale. How did this even happen? …
Having taken a few digs at the Top 5 Christmas songs on Spotify, it’s only fair I present an alternative. These songs skip past the decked halls of gaudy delights and popularity. They lurk behind the mistletoe waiting for the hot friend to enter their orbit before pouncing with an…
Antisemitism was on the rise last year. Too many zoom meetings ended with Sieg heil and the promise to annihilate the Jews from their homeland. ‘From the river to the sea’ became a terrifying edict on the lips of all liberal Palestine believers, but three people stood out more than…
I feel like Hugh Grant in ‘About A Boy’ when the first chimes of Christmas hit the supermarkets and shopping malls. The jingle bells frothing with delight have me retching and in desperate need of escape. …
