Member-only story
How To Scare Your Date
First date red flags popping up everywhere
She had arrived before me. There she sat, huddled round the candle light for extra warmth. Her blonde hair cascaded down her shoulders. A slim woman with a strong presence. I knew this first date was going to go well.
The waiter pointed to where she sat. He was under the impression that this was our first rodeo. An air of expectancy surrounded her. She rose to greet me and I beamed my most dazzling smile. Eager to please, I pulled my chair up close to hers, leaning in so I could hear clearly, to take in her intoxicating aroma. She smelled of cherries and sweet blossoms.
She pulled back.
I pretended not to notice and signaled the waiter to bring me a double. Two fingers in the air aimed directly at the immigrant worker. A proud Polish man stressed with the ongoing debate about Europeans stealing all the jobs. He didn’t take kindly to my waving and spilt the liquor onto my crotch. He sneered when I asked for a wipe and threw his cloth violently at me.
My smile was weakening.
My date asked if I had any plans. I looked down at my wet crotch and told her I only wanted to get my pants off and into some clean underwear. I meant dry but the point was mute.
