Thank you Michelle for your kind words. Its so true about what you say in regards to entering and leaving this world. My Dad was supposed to be in remission. He had already beaten cancer once before and it looked as if he was going to beat it again.

It was that calm before the storm. The moment when everybody celebrates as the patient sits up and orders a hearty meal and talks lucidly about the future. And then suddenly, they're at death's door and about to die.

Its that shock which was the hardest to deal with. The return of hope. The shared belief that he had it licked. That the terminal cancer had disappeared overnight, like some miracle and that Dad would be back at home watching sports on the TV with the rest of us.

The break from normalcy. The recalibration of your life. The knowing he's no longer there to call or speak to.

It should get easier and maybe one day it will.